One leg of the Journey

After that emotional vomit yesterday, I feel a little better. I had a good cry and a much needed reality check with Mindy. She always has good advice and assignments for me to get myself out of a slump. She made me do homework. I did it. It helped.
So I am sitting here listening to fireworks all around our house, smelling Muggs' cooking and listening to the kids play. I'm thinking about marriage and how fourteen years can go so fast. I heard someone say a long time ago that the secret to their marriage was that they never both fell out of love at the same time. That always stuck with me. I guess it's sort of true, that you are always going through different phases of love with your spouse. We are always changing, but the decision to love and the commitment to the marriage is what keeps it going, not the emotion. The fourteen years that we have been married have been unbelievable. I don't think anyone thought we'd make a life out of the craziness that was our existance at 21 and 22. I'm not going to start singing that stupid Shania Twain song...
Thank God I never thought too hard about what I was doing, because logically, it was impossible. I am so grateful that I was running on the high of eros and the decisions were easy for me to get married and have children, and not necessarity in that order. Muggs gave me someone else to live for, and Emma grounded me and directed my whirlwind of a life. It was the only way for me not to spin out of control. And there are people out there who don't believe in God! Ha! We are living proof of Divine Guidance and I am lucky to believe.
There are so many blessings for which I am grateful, and I know everybody gets down, but I really have so much going for me and so many people who love me, I should never feel like a failure. It's a rough ride sometimes, but then it's so beautiful, too. Happy new year and here's to learning a little more about yourself every day. ~S

"The longest journey of any person is the journey inward."
Dag Hammerskjvld