If you are looking for cheerful inspiration, stop reading now. Not feeling it today. Mama always said emotions are like a box of chocolates and today I am that nasty orange fluff that curls my lip.
My grandmother is dying. It's not that it's too soon...she's almost 95. That is an unfathomable age. When she was born they did not have a bathroom, a car, heat, air conditioner, or a private phone line. I'm surprised the shock of living through so many changes in the world didn't kill her alone. The world outside is nearly unrecognizable to rural Mississippi early 1900s. With the exception of people. People haven't changed so much. And that's why she made it. Nannie married my Pop and had two daughters that lived. I believe she had five miscarriages and a still born son, Andrew. My mother is her oldest daughter. From the beginning of her married life she cared for others. She was disowned for marrying a Catholic, but cared for her estranged family members as they aged and needed help as if it never happened. Without hesitation. Nannie cared for her siblings, all 12 of them, at one time or another. She gave them shelter when they needed a place to stay, food when they were hungry, advice when they needed it (or not), and made clothes for everyone. Her hands were directly connected to her heart. She made her children's clothes, food, and world. She was the heart of the family. She continued to love in the face of betrayal, heartache, disappointment, and abuse. She was the glue that held them together.
When I came around, Nannie was the center of my world. She lived with us shortly after I was born and bestowed upon me the lion's share of her love and attention. I grew up thinking I was royalty. Though it took some hard lessons to give me the right perspective about my royalty, I still to this day feel eternally blessed through her eyes.
Her eyes are dimming. And that's why I am hurting today. This is the end of something I can't see beyond. Tomorrow I might have some sense of perspective, understanding, peace, but today it just hurts real bad. This side of a great loss is uncomfortably heavy.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Whores
One of my friends posted on facebook the other day about Rhianna's pornographic performance on the music awards. It got me thinking....it actually got me boiling. Maybe it's my age now, thirty-something, when I start to look more closely at the way women act. Maybe it's being married almost 17 years, I don't know. I have noticed a pathetic attempt by women to adopt "stripper appeal" in their everyday lives. I see it at the grocery store in the afternoon, at swim team practice, at the elementary school PTA events (I'll be writing later on Bascomb moms) and of course at night, well as Whodini said, "The freaks come out at night" in Towne Lake. We dress as we feel, as we aspire to feel, and to make a statement...and that's what bothers me. The media portrayal of hot, sexy women has so deeply embedded its agenda into the general population that I bet you could go to any town any time of day and see a wanna be hooker taking her kids shopping. I don't think it's even conscious in all cases (You can tell the ones that ARE) (wait patiently for the Bascomb moms blog).
I remember getting sent home from school for dressing inappropriately and causing a distraction in my class. I was trying to be punk in the 80's and I was wearing leggings and an oversized "All the colors of the world" Benneton t-shirt. No booty showing, just tight pants. No boobies showing, just a big shirt. That was '87-'88ish. It was too much for the school. Taken a peek at the way middle and high schoolers dress these days, in school? Mrs. Boyette and Mrs. Longman would DROP DEAD on sight. I wonder if they are still teaching? Anyway, my point is that fashion, or the lack thereof, has moved rapidly into a niche of belief (there's probably a better word for that) that women are not women unless they are sexy. Period.
This challenges my own beliefs and desires to be attractive. I remember a study done on kindergartners about their impression of women with different visual appearances. They were shown images of older women with long dresses, less attractive women without makeup, and scantily clad women with lots of makeup and asked "Do you think she is nice? Do you think she is a good teacher?" The kids all thought the hottie ladies were nicer and better teachers....aka better women. It's deep, y'all. I wonder if we did that study today what they would say.....maybe I'll do a little test. I have no desire to look like Nanny McPhee to a child, and I want to be attractive to the general population, my husband, and the kids in my life. There's a fine line between clever and stupid, hooker and nice lady.
Last night my whole family watched RAW (Monday night wrestling) I know, I know, how can I complain about ANYTHING on that raunchy show. But here's the deal. My husband, GLH, grew up watching wrestling and has shared his love for the "sport" with his sons. That is good. They have a date each week watching together. That is good. They have something to play and talk about together. That is good. You with me? Ok. So my girls have also jumped in the mix, cause they all like a good fight. It is what it is. Last night the Divas came on. They are women wrestlers who fight each other during the match. Yes, basically fancy mud wrestling. I usually don't watch them because they get on my nerves at best, but I watched my boys watch them last night (hubby included). The ladies were peppering their fights with stripper moves. Pole moves, hair tosses, grinding, hip swings, etc....traditional moves that signal every mans groin to stand at attention. My boys were glued (hubby included). I asked that they change the channel. Have you ever tried to take a bone from a dog? Same reaction. You think those images will settle into my boys subconscious belief of what attractive is? You bet'cha. Now we are going to flush this out, 'cause that's what good moms do. Offer an alternative. Give them a mental comparison of equal strength and let nature weigh it out. Can't make it happen, but sure can set it up like a bank shot. That's why we go to Mass, and that's why we talk about it.
So when my friends ask me to come to their "Vertical Fitness" class, I have to decline. Not because I have any problem being a lady in the street and a freak in the bed, but because I have to be an obstacle to the indoctrination of my boys, and the public acceptance of whores.
I remember getting sent home from school for dressing inappropriately and causing a distraction in my class. I was trying to be punk in the 80's and I was wearing leggings and an oversized "All the colors of the world" Benneton t-shirt. No booty showing, just tight pants. No boobies showing, just a big shirt. That was '87-'88ish. It was too much for the school. Taken a peek at the way middle and high schoolers dress these days, in school? Mrs. Boyette and Mrs. Longman would DROP DEAD on sight. I wonder if they are still teaching? Anyway, my point is that fashion, or the lack thereof, has moved rapidly into a niche of belief (there's probably a better word for that) that women are not women unless they are sexy. Period.
This challenges my own beliefs and desires to be attractive. I remember a study done on kindergartners about their impression of women with different visual appearances. They were shown images of older women with long dresses, less attractive women without makeup, and scantily clad women with lots of makeup and asked "Do you think she is nice? Do you think she is a good teacher?" The kids all thought the hottie ladies were nicer and better teachers....aka better women. It's deep, y'all. I wonder if we did that study today what they would say.....maybe I'll do a little test. I have no desire to look like Nanny McPhee to a child, and I want to be attractive to the general population, my husband, and the kids in my life. There's a fine line between clever and stupid, hooker and nice lady.
Last night my whole family watched RAW (Monday night wrestling) I know, I know, how can I complain about ANYTHING on that raunchy show. But here's the deal. My husband, GLH, grew up watching wrestling and has shared his love for the "sport" with his sons. That is good. They have a date each week watching together. That is good. They have something to play and talk about together. That is good. You with me? Ok. So my girls have also jumped in the mix, cause they all like a good fight. It is what it is. Last night the Divas came on. They are women wrestlers who fight each other during the match. Yes, basically fancy mud wrestling. I usually don't watch them because they get on my nerves at best, but I watched my boys watch them last night (hubby included). The ladies were peppering their fights with stripper moves. Pole moves, hair tosses, grinding, hip swings, etc....traditional moves that signal every mans groin to stand at attention. My boys were glued (hubby included). I asked that they change the channel. Have you ever tried to take a bone from a dog? Same reaction. You think those images will settle into my boys subconscious belief of what attractive is? You bet'cha. Now we are going to flush this out, 'cause that's what good moms do. Offer an alternative. Give them a mental comparison of equal strength and let nature weigh it out. Can't make it happen, but sure can set it up like a bank shot. That's why we go to Mass, and that's why we talk about it.
So when my friends ask me to come to their "Vertical Fitness" class, I have to decline. Not because I have any problem being a lady in the street and a freak in the bed, but because I have to be an obstacle to the indoctrination of my boys, and the public acceptance of whores.
Monday, May 23, 2011
I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say
Thank you , Jesus, for keeping us on our toes and not laying out all of the details of your Plan. The predicted "Rapture" came and went this weekend as we entertained 60+ kids and their families at the lake. No one even hesitated at 6pm, they were too enraptured with the beautiful sun, cool lake water, food, and friends. As it should be. I thought maybe the ascension part was faulty and the "chaff" just fell and the "wheat" was left to roam the earth. Not so, life goes on, good and bad today.
This is the last Monday of school! This week is sure to burn my eyebrows off with speed and activity, but it is the last, so I can take it. It has been a whirlwind for months now while everyone tries to finish up for the year. I do not care for the before Christmas break and end of year parts of school. The frenzy is too much with four in school and church classes. There is something to be said for just ending without pomp and circumstance, just stop. The celebration is you don't have to go anymore and the present is the paycheck you receive. Now that may sound ugly but IMHO there is WAY too much celebration and reward going around the Towne Lake area. It's like we have set up celebrations like stepping stones instead of achievement. We just get from one to the next feeling accomplished and constantly elated. I don't like it. The permanent smile begins to look like the Joker's disconnect between mouth and eyes, or a doll's eternal toothy grin. Fake, insincere. And the food....oh the food. My kids have feasted for weeks at various events on sugar sugar sugar sugar.
There was another great "Overheard at the Coulter's" moment last week but I cannot remember what was said!! I hope to wake up with that in my head instead of yet another morning song stuck on replay.
Anyway, I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be...but, if you wait around a while....I'll make you fall for me...I promise.
This is the last Monday of school! This week is sure to burn my eyebrows off with speed and activity, but it is the last, so I can take it. It has been a whirlwind for months now while everyone tries to finish up for the year. I do not care for the before Christmas break and end of year parts of school. The frenzy is too much with four in school and church classes. There is something to be said for just ending without pomp and circumstance, just stop. The celebration is you don't have to go anymore and the present is the paycheck you receive. Now that may sound ugly but IMHO there is WAY too much celebration and reward going around the Towne Lake area. It's like we have set up celebrations like stepping stones instead of achievement. We just get from one to the next feeling accomplished and constantly elated. I don't like it. The permanent smile begins to look like the Joker's disconnect between mouth and eyes, or a doll's eternal toothy grin. Fake, insincere. And the food....oh the food. My kids have feasted for weeks at various events on sugar sugar sugar sugar.
There was another great "Overheard at the Coulter's" moment last week but I cannot remember what was said!! I hope to wake up with that in my head instead of yet another morning song stuck on replay.
Anyway, I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be...but, if you wait around a while....I'll make you fall for me...I promise.
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