Awakening an Old Idea

Perhaps it has been asleep in me. I know it was there before, it lived under the surface, but recently it has awakened and revealed it's head and chest, and perhaps some of it's tender underbelly. Unschooling is rocking our dusty way of life! The idea that individual freedom within a family, within one's own modus operandi, is an honor we afford others and protect and defend in ourselves. As I watch Emma steer her own ship and direct her own desires, I feel the buzzing of being awake to ancient truths. My clearer vision watches people run around and cram artificial life into each moment of their day, deciding for one another, forcing and manipulating one another, steering one another, and I see those who are numb and willing to be steered following, glazed over, marching. I am keenly aware of comments and words that numb me out. "How are you today?" in the checkout. "Fine, thank you."(thought clearly I am NOT having a good day) "Have a nice day." What does that say to me? Not worth it. There's power in mixing it up: "How are you today?" "Crappy, I just left my wallet on the hood of my car." Or "Frustrated because the one thing I came here for is gone." Just honest. Is what it is. Honoring true feelings and not "supposed tos". Makes me feel better, less numb, less drone-like. The little things I see in my home that happen between people...little dominations, little exterminations, have to be challenged (much to some dismay!) for the sake of the big dominations and exterminations. "Be the change you want to see in the world", right? It matters. All the little battles count on the big field, because of physics and momentum and all of the laws of energy are on the side of the one who's acting and moving and praying. It is the freedom of following and therefore honoring your own instincts that places value on the human person, and that defeats attacks on the human person! Valuing life in more than words and doctor's offices give more momentum to our side and creates more energy exponentially in the lives of my children. This, however, gets me into trouble, too. It's an atrocity to live this way and then to throw in a little parental domination in a tired moment. It is also a poverty when both parents aren't on the same page. I am de-structuring more easily than my mate. He's wearing concrete control shoes. It is much harder for him to see, & therefore act, in a way that allows others freedom to make their own decisions. He is at a place where he sees infractions in others parenting style, but not all of his own. I am sure that I offend as well. Not accusing, just stating that there is a difference in understanding and comfort level with giving up control. He sees the value in letting Emma direct her learning experience this year. He sees the abomination of other's telling their kids what and when to dress themselves, when to eat, when to move, when to sleep...with no consideration of the child's wants. So I know we are making progress...but it is a huge challenge to de-structure family control patterns. It's is something so entrenched in the vernacular, that it in often invisible and always layered. I am a miner. I am digging, digging for the gems I know lie under the rock. And when I dig them out in chunks with big tools, I get out my little pics and brushes and work with a delicate hand.